Friday, October 27, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Two Conspicuously Illuminating Dreams
Last night after we chased the giant blow fly that was on a verge of an ecstacy overdose out of the bedroom at 3am, I dreamt that I was Al Gore's intern, and got a very big tell-off by him for wearing jandals (thongs) in his White House office.
The night before, I dreamt that I arrived fresh at Monash University. I scribbled my name down on a piece of sign-up paper in the student union, only to find out it I accidently nominated myself on Student Exect and ended up being voted the Events Coordinator for the entire Orientation Week and the rest of the year. I skipped my first Exect meeting and was travelling in a Charlie&the Chocolate Factory type lift at 100km/hr, listening to a Professor of Physics (Bold and greying, tall and thin, naturally with red rimmed glasses) explain the equation which powers this box.
The night before, I dreamt that I arrived fresh at Monash University. I scribbled my name down on a piece of sign-up paper in the student union, only to find out it I accidently nominated myself on Student Exect and ended up being voted the Events Coordinator for the entire Orientation Week and the rest of the year. I skipped my first Exect meeting and was travelling in a Charlie&the Chocolate Factory type lift at 100km/hr, listening to a Professor of Physics (Bold and greying, tall and thin, naturally with red rimmed glasses) explain the equation which powers this box.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Cat sitter FAQ
(T & I are going sailing)
Who the hell is he?
His name is Shiner. Its because the pattern on his left eye implies that he had been given a “shiner” (Australian colloquial language for a black-eye) in his mother’s womb by his siblings. He just turned 19 last month and really likes to Meow & likes to be cuddled as often as he can persuade you to. He is an easy going fellow but you should put him outside if the meowing gets out of control.
How many times a day does he get fed?
Three. Once in the morning when he gets up, once again late in the afternoon between 4 – 6 pm, and then once again in the late evening before yourself or he goes to bed. He loves water so he would be grateful if you refill his water bowl upstairs and next to his bed if they get empty.
What does he eat & how much does he eat?
He prefers to eat things that are dead but if an insect provokes him he will take them out.
Usually he eats mushy cat food as he has no teeth. He eats one single cat food packet per meal, or 1/3 can per meal, which amounts to about 1 full can a day. He can be given biscuits as snacks outside those hours but not as meal food as he has a gentle stomach.
Has he got any medical conditions?
Yes. We think he might have or had a brain tumour which caused him to have two known minor seizures in the last winter, but he’s been fine for quite a while and its very unlikely that it will happen. In the unlikely chance of this happening, he would have a short collapse but would go back to normal (walk around and eat etc) after 30 or so seconds. If he has a seizure but returns to normal then we will take him to the vet on our return. If he does not return to normal & stays unconscious please take him to the vet ASAP – see separate emergency numbers/addresses. If they ask about the outstanding bill tell them we’ll fix it up when we get back. (bastards.)
When and where does he sleep?
He is probably sleeping as we speak. He sleeps around 20 hours a day anywhere that’s warm and soft. At night he sleeps in the laundry downstairs, he has a choice of three beds as he has outlived his other two mates. This prevents him from being outside and beating up the possum/younger cats and vice versa. He can be let out of the laundry in a reasonable hour in the morning, and let roam inside the house during the day if no-one’s there.
What about his toilet habits?
He is actually quite good with that. Since our other cat Milly passed away he has not once pissed or shat inside the house. What a good boy. He relieves himself either in the garden or his poo box in the laundry, if the doors are shut and he looks at you wearily beside the door that means he needs to GO! Leave the door to the staircase open cos he will take himself downstairs or outside via the cat door. Don’t worry about cleaning or moving the poo box unless you really want to. If it stinks you can put it outside during the day or use the air-deodorant on the window sill.
The thing to remember is: “If in doubt, let him out”.
THANK YOU!
Who the hell is he?
His name is Shiner. Its because the pattern on his left eye implies that he had been given a “shiner” (Australian colloquial language for a black-eye) in his mother’s womb by his siblings. He just turned 19 last month and really likes to Meow & likes to be cuddled as often as he can persuade you to. He is an easy going fellow but you should put him outside if the meowing gets out of control.
How many times a day does he get fed?
Three. Once in the morning when he gets up, once again late in the afternoon between 4 – 6 pm, and then once again in the late evening before yourself or he goes to bed. He loves water so he would be grateful if you refill his water bowl upstairs and next to his bed if they get empty.
What does he eat & how much does he eat?
He prefers to eat things that are dead but if an insect provokes him he will take them out.
Usually he eats mushy cat food as he has no teeth. He eats one single cat food packet per meal, or 1/3 can per meal, which amounts to about 1 full can a day. He can be given biscuits as snacks outside those hours but not as meal food as he has a gentle stomach.
Has he got any medical conditions?
Yes. We think he might have or had a brain tumour which caused him to have two known minor seizures in the last winter, but he’s been fine for quite a while and its very unlikely that it will happen. In the unlikely chance of this happening, he would have a short collapse but would go back to normal (walk around and eat etc) after 30 or so seconds. If he has a seizure but returns to normal then we will take him to the vet on our return. If he does not return to normal & stays unconscious please take him to the vet ASAP – see separate emergency numbers/addresses. If they ask about the outstanding bill tell them we’ll fix it up when we get back. (bastards.)
When and where does he sleep?
He is probably sleeping as we speak. He sleeps around 20 hours a day anywhere that’s warm and soft. At night he sleeps in the laundry downstairs, he has a choice of three beds as he has outlived his other two mates. This prevents him from being outside and beating up the possum/younger cats and vice versa. He can be let out of the laundry in a reasonable hour in the morning, and let roam inside the house during the day if no-one’s there.
What about his toilet habits?
He is actually quite good with that. Since our other cat Milly passed away he has not once pissed or shat inside the house. What a good boy. He relieves himself either in the garden or his poo box in the laundry, if the doors are shut and he looks at you wearily beside the door that means he needs to GO! Leave the door to the staircase open cos he will take himself downstairs or outside via the cat door. Don’t worry about cleaning or moving the poo box unless you really want to. If it stinks you can put it outside during the day or use the air-deodorant on the window sill.
The thing to remember is: “If in doubt, let him out”.
THANK YOU!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
L's World "i stopped counting": Bare feet driving
Last night I drove from Warramanga to Narrabundah through Hindmarsh Drive (80k) in pitch darkness in Templeton's giant automatic, in bare feet. Call me the stig.
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