Sunday, September 30, 2007
Images of Old Shanghai
Saturday, September 29, 2007
A Dream of West Lake
Little kids watching a squirrel; A chilly small bay which old boats "come to die"; A cat couple on a stroll; lady fishing for snails for a fry up
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Shanghaied in Shanghai
Templeton went back to Bangladesh yesterday morning (sniff) and I took the night train in from Beijing. It was a much much more pleasant experience than the Shenyang-Beijing leg because I got a soft seat this time. While its a bit sad not knowing when I will see T again I am actually really quite enjoying travelling on my own again. I guess its because I get a lot more anonymity by myself here, I can just pass as a local and people don't hike prices up just cos I have a Caucasian next to me, and basically able to interact a lot more freely. And surprisingly, less frequently mistaken as Japanese. (another relief...).
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Man, Woman, Moon: A Cute Chinese Story
One day, the woodchopper needed to go into town many days walk away to get himself a new axe and maybe a mule for all the extra work he's getting. His wife saw the opportunity to ask if he could get her a mirror too while he's there.
"But what's a mirror?" he asked.
Mrs Woodchopper wasn't quite sure how to explain it either. She looked up in the night sky and saw the bright full moon high in the air.
"Well, its something you get from a woman's shop, that looks exactly like the moon," she said.
Her husband looked up and nodded and tried really really hard to remember to get his wife something that looked like the moon when he's in town.
He walked into a woman's shop and asked the nice man at the counter for what she was after.
"What do you need exactly, Sir?" The shop owner asked.
"Well, can't remember exactly, she said something like, like it looked like the moon."
The shop owner looked up in the sky and saw the moon, now waned into a thin crescent.
"Oh, I see, it must be a hair comb. I'll get you one right away."
And off the woodchop goes home with a new hair comb for his wife.
Happy Mooncake/Mid Autum Festival everybody! I celebrated with a double duck yolk lotus mooncake and some local beer at Tiananmen Square
Monday, September 24, 2007
The Great Wall Robbery of China - based on a real story
(Chirpy road trip music dies and an announcement tone rings. Bing Bong!)
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A
Ladies and gentlemen,we will soon be collecting your fees for the tour today. Because you are individually booked customers through different travel agents, you may or may not find that your fees for the day differ from other passengers, do not fret my comrades. What ever was agreed with you when you booked will be what we will charge. You may also find that discounts for students, seniors and soldires no longer apply, as you are on a budget first class service to the Great Wall, we have cut all the trimmings off. If you have a problem with that please call your travel agent.
(VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B collects money from passengers and eventually reach FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 and FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 sitting at the back of the bus)
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
That would be a total of $190 for each of you on this budget tour of the Wall.
Um, sorry? I thought it was $100 each for a first class tour of the Wall when I spoke to your guy on the phone. Didn't your friend say what ever the price was when we booked would be whatever we would be charged?
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
Oh, there's an additional compulsory administration fee for a phone booking on top of that.
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
I'm pretty sure your guy on the phone said there's no extra costs and for the first class tour we get an extra hour at the Wall plus a better lunch?
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
Oh, no, we are taking you to a special Tibetan Art Gallery which wasn't mentioned in the ad. That's how much it costs to get in.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 discusses briefly with FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 in an incomprehendable language.)
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Sorry, but we don't want to go there, we'll just wait for the rest of you outside. Anyway what's that got to do with admin for a phone booking?
SCENE 2
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Since everyone else on the bus has paid up did you want to sort out our fees now please?
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
That would be a total of $190 for each of you on this first class tour of the Wall. I'll give you a discount, how about $160 each.
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
I thought I agreed $100 each for a first class tour, let me talk to your manager.
(Crazy Chinese phone ring tone: cockadoodle doo wee wee, kerraaafff kerraaff wiing wiing.)
VOICE OF MANAGER
I'm terribly sorry madame, seems like our operator forgot to tell you about a compulsory stop at the Tibetan Art Gallery, it costs $150 to get in. I'm sorry that was not made clear to you last night, my most sincere apologies, OK? You wouldn't want to be stranded up there on your own or anything, would you now? My dear foreign guest?
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Well we are not going to go in there for this crazy price which you've made up anyway. We agreed $100 for the day full stop. Take it or leave it!
(VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B snatches the phone from FOREIGN NATIONAL 1. )
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
Look lady friend, if you don't pay up then you and your little American boy are not allowed to come back on our bus. It will cost you $900 to get back to Beijing on the taxi and without a group discount here it will cost you $90 to get in, so you better just give me the money and save yourself from all this trouble.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 holds up a sign that says "I'm not a bloody American")
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Sorry but threatening me like this is not going to work. Back where I come from people do business with integrity and honesty.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 holds up a sign that says "Shhh--I'm from Taiwan")
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
Fine! Give me the bus fare for the way here and you are welcome to leave. That will be $70 each.
(A PASSENGER interrupts the conversation and diverts VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B away from talking to FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 & FOREIGN NATIONAL 2)
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 holds up a sign that says "I think we should just skive off now." and points at it towards audience. FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 & FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 walks into the Complaints Office manned by POLICE OFFICER and TOURIST HELPER LADY. )
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Ni hao there. Could you help us please? Our tour operators are trying to charge us like double the amount we agreed previously.
TOURIST HELPER LADY
No problems, Madame. It happens all the time, even to our own local tourists. Don't give them any money, not even the bus fare. It will cost you $26 to enter the wall, and another $12 on the bus back to Beijing, you can take a $40 taxi to another stretch of the wall near here if you want to see more of it.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 & FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 breaks into cheers and proceeds to the line to get up to the Wall. VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A and VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B approaches in a huff.)
Hey! Gimme the money for the bus you dirty bitch.
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Um, don't think so. The lady in the Complaints Office said that we don't have to give you a cent, you liar.
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B:
We're not liars! Give us the money.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 makes a funny face at VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A & VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B)
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
Ok, come sort it out with the Complaints Office with me then.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 waves them over to Complaints Office.)
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A:
Hey, why did you tell her that we are liars?
TOURIST HELPER LADY
Excuse me, I didn't say you were liars.
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B
Yes you did, she said you did.
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1
No, I said you were liars. Proving my point exactly you stupid liar.
VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A
Then give us the bus fare then.
TOURIST HELP LADY
Look that's quite enough, please treat our American guests with some respect and dignity. You are causing us to loose face.
(FOREIGN NATIONAL 2 holds up sign in protest "For the last time, I'm not a bloody American." POLICE OFFICER opens the door of the Complaints Office and ushers VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A and VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B out to stage right. VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY A, VULGAR BUS TOUR LADY B and all Bus Passengers exit stage right.)
FOREIGN NATIONAL 1 & FOREIGN NATIONAL 2
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? la la la la laaaah!
We'll blow off your paper tiger wigs
Cos you're a bunch of lying pigs
For we have this Wall that's built of bricks
So up your arse and fuck your tricks"
CAST
Now that we are real men, we can say that
real men at that
For Chairman Mao once said on these great hills
You are not a real man
You are not a real man
Till you've climbed
Till you've climbed
The Greeeeeeeaaaaat Wall!"
(Curtain falls)
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Evening haunts in Beijing
Feasting in Beijing
sh
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Summer of 1989
Today I stood in front of the square. Big slabs of grey concrete one after another with no blood stains or torn tents or faeces and rubbish in piles in sight. Hundreds of people going about their business, exercising, walking, chatting, taking pictures, selling magazines, children chasing each other, people saying hello, ice blocks, sausages, smiling, happy people.
All that was going across my mind were the images of people that aren't here doing this. Happy smiling faces, full of hope, ready to sing another song, to inspire, live life to its fullest...
Friday, September 21, 2007
Feeling a bit Sinocidal
We are staying quite centrally and are close to many old hutongs (old BJ style houses) and cafes, and just one block from a strip of shops that sells interesting books and clothes - the cool kids hang out here and a sign of some interesting urban culture.
However, after a day or two out and about sight seeing and hanging out, I am just feeling that Beijing/China is starting to get at me. Since leaving the somewhat sheltered campus life in Shenyang I've started to really feel how glaring suffocating it is to be in the capital city of arguably the world's most controlling, corrupt and least politically free countries in the world. Its not just how smoggy and sterile this place is, but the sort of attitudes they possess here in the big city, and the complexity that it is experiencing being both "over preparing" but in fact "under prepared" for the biggest international sporting event in a year's time. Could it be that everything bad about China is right here in Beijing?
Just a few examples which got my knickers in a twist:
- Trying to upgrade from hard sitting only seats to soft bunks on the over night train from SY to Beijing - the train conductor was extremely rude and unprofessional to me and called me an idiot in front of the whole train for expecting to upgrade when I am "38th in line", which was half an hour after she told me to come back in half an hour
- MSG is not salt, is not sugar, but a vicious chemical that not only kills every other natural flavour in your food, but most importantly will strip the shit out of your mouth-throat-stomach and eventually your brain, so stop putting it in your fucking food
- Taxi driver at the train station quoted us Y100 for a trip that one would expect for Y18 - calm now, just walk away....
- I was at this shop and picked up some paper fans to have a look. I asked the shopkeeper how much it was. She took one look at me (so you can tell I've been backpacking for five months?) and snapped "Are you going to buy it or not?" and as soon as I said "no..." she literally snapped it off my hands and walked back into the shops leaving me there speechless
- Bad mannered hotel staff who can't spell service in their own language if they tried. You don't bang the door on guests or throw pens at them just because you don't like your job
Its not that Shenyang or Haerbin was absolutely free from the similar bureaucratic bigotry that I've felt in Beijing, but definitely being in the capital where the Olympics are to be held next year, the intensity of the pressure certainly multiplies. There are signs everywhere listing the things that you "aren't allowed to do" - in both writing and in pictures. No firecracker in parks is understandable, but if you need to have a sign telling people not to piss in public says either a) enough people are pissing in public to make this a problem or b) you just feel like saying this cos you're a control freak. Either way doesn't say much about you or your public does it? There are policemen everywhere just lurking around keeping an eye on everyone, throwing power trips whenever they feel like. We couldn't even flag down a taxi because we weren't at a designated taxi rank. SHEEEEESH. No wonder people hate obeying to rules here - its a backlash against simply having too many rules. Its gotten so bad that people are posing as policemen and fining people illegally because its such good money and so well accepted to never question authority when it presents itself upon you. Crazy I know! Can't they understand that order and cohesion can only be sustained with acculturation, and not with brute force??
How they are going to make it through the Olympics really is beginning to baffle me. They prepare for the Olympics by 'skimming the surface' without addressing the underlying issues. The streets that are done up are the big boulevards and the popular shopping strips and the main roads. The backstreets remain dirty and unkempt and the public toilet cubicals have no doors (not that its a problem for me personally, but the contrast is just a bit too blunt). They expect citizens to be polite to foreigners but not each other. Security guards at department stores or tourist attractions have the most official looking uniforms and hats - then down the bottom they wear sneakers with their dress pants?? Every shopkeeper can speak fifteen languages - but only "hello", "thank you", "goodbye", and "that will cost you XX dollars". And the little Friendlies (Olympic mascots) - official versions are nearing Y20,000 each, but on the streets you can buy the same thing for Y5 - except it'll fall apart within 3 hours instead of 3 days. They've wheeled out or locked up the dissidents, the squatters, the criminals, and pretty much everyone else that's slightly interesting out of sight of these poor innocent foreign tourists - not realising that themselves, the PRC government is their most embarrasing thing on show. -- OOOPS!
Many of you may have read about "face" in Chinese and other Asian cultures. How to give and loose face etc. well what I have been talking about here is a very typical example of a face demanded very audaciously (by China), given very reluctantly (by the IOC), and will probably be lost very embarrasingly (by China).
Monday, September 17, 2007
At It Again
Friday, September 14, 2007
Postcard from Haerbin
So this is what Asians know of as the Northern Part of the Northern Hemisphere. THE LAST BASTION OF CIVILISATION BEFORE THE RUSSIAN BOARDER!!! But in the early Autumn the weather is still relatively tame compared to the minus 40 degrees you’d get here in the depth of winter. I'm kinda kicking myself for not choosing to come to the freezingest town in China during the Ice Sculpture festival, after all that's what Haerbin's really only known for. But otherwise it’s a pretty interesting town because of the huge Russian influence and history here. The main street is built by the Russians – including the beautiful cobble stones and quite a few nice churches with those onion domes. it’s quite unique and pretty, and you can get a shot of Vodka almost everywhere. There’s significantly more Caucasian faces here, and quite a few halal restaurants and a mosque, which I always find interesting. The food for example is quite unique – there's a special "Modern" ice cream, sold at the ground floor of the "Modern Hotel Building" which is a commercial group that specialises, aptly, in all kinds of frozen food, (My calculations is that every
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Shenyang Sunshine
From the photos that I've seen, the winters here are pretty harsh. The snow can be quite overwhelming and completely engulf a two meter wall, and you ski on the lake as a sport. But we arrived in the late summer/early autumn, and the weather couldn't be more beautiful. The sun is not scorching like in Bangladesh, and the air not humid or dry, just so comfortable like being in a lightly cool room. Everything smells fresh and birds are chirping. This has to be the best weather I've had since I left New Zealand!
Peter & Margaret are lecturers in English at a local tertiary institute, and their contract included a sweet little apartment near Beiling Park. It really does feel like home here, everything is so cozy and comfortable. The apartment block is next to a busy road where farmers markets take place daily from 4am till about lunch time, then a busy night market in the evenings. P&M’s students came to meet us on the first afternoon, they were a group of extremely enthusiastic girls whom made me feel like I am an amusement somehow because they had so many questions for me and giggled at everything T & I said. They left with a promise of taking us to Kareoke – ha ha!!
Best Neighbourgh Ever - The Street Market
The most fascinating thing here is definitely the street market right next to P&M’s apartment. 7 Days a week at the crack of dawn, literally hundreds of fresh food stall holders set up shop on the street – fresh fruit and veges, then the dried nuts and spices, and the breakfast stalls selling all kinds of steamed buns, “tofu brain” (ie. Silken tofu) you eat with soy sauce and coriander etc, bean stuffed mochi (sweet sticky rice balls), omelets, dumplings, fried dough, mixed salads, hot sweet soy milk… you’re spoilt for choice. It is all very traditional – the bigger stall holders come with their trucks loaded with the produce, while the smaller stall holders might come with a donkey cart, and the mochi guy rolls around with a glass cabinet with mochi inside. It all climaxes around 7am, the bright and early time when most Chinese people get out of bed. If you turn up at 9am most of the stuff is gone, and by 12pm the street is literally empty except for the regular shops and restaurants.
The evening food and junk stalls come back at about 4pm to set up for the nocturnal round – you can’t miss it because the smell of BBQ lingers the air for the entire evening. On the top end the junk stalls sell anything from clothes, home appliances, shoes, tools, dog food, books, porn, and exercise machines. The lower end an array of food stalls cook up a storm in their respective woks – P&M’s favourite Mr Fried Rice does a huge portion of fantastic chicken fried rice for 4 RMBs (80c AUD), and you can find all sorts of goodies you can barbeque on the spot, such as vege & meat skewers and funny smelling sausages. Taiwan’s probably one of those “exotic” and “mystical” ideas in most Chinese minds – so anything with “Taiwan” on it seems to be selling – like “Taiwan Dumplings” and “Taiwan Steak” – except neither of those are from Taiwan (Dumplings are from northern China and traditionally most Taiwanese ppl don’t eat beef). I should probably not rave on about the restaurant which serves dog and donkey meat… The best thing definitely is the variety and the cheap price, you’ll never get bored or hungry here! Here’s a pic of piles of tobacco you can buy.
We took a walk in Beiling Park bright and early one morning at 6am, just across the road from the apartment blocks and the street market. The park is a huge green reserve around the Qing Dynasty Tombs – usually it costs 10RMB to get in, but before 6am and after 6pm its free. Apart from the tombs, there is a huge lake area surrounded by low bushes, it not only is a pleasant place to stroll around but also spot interesting Chinese plants and animals. Here is a pic from the fabled “Squirrel Tree".
Actually, correction re “not intense”. There are quite a few other weird ones, such as “weaponry” – a group throwing around big metal chains and blades around and screaming out of relief(pain?). And there was a guy who just kicks a tree non-stop. Poor tree. Eye opening.