Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Week Is a Long Time in Real Estates

(What really goes on)
Air freshner in raspberry and coconut; Bulldog tied to a pole in the backyard just walk around him; Carpet stain is covered by large pot plant; Do not remove the Dolphin painting in hallway; Elvis statue 1.5 meters in reconstituted brass; Free beer with every caravan run; Going once-twice-going three times-- oh how about we raise another ten grand; Have to sell-divorce pending; Immaculate-ideal-and most of all inexpensive for a reason; Just browsing not accepted; Killer bees nest at rare end of gutter wear a mask when entering; Large water feature with giant vagina shaped purple crystal spraying piece; Magic carpet throughout (so floral that no matter what you spill on it it will not show); when Neighbours don't become good friends; Original 1970s decor; Polished endangered timber floor no stilettos please; Quick! skip over the last few clauses; Repetitive oldies classic radio station shall blast into the receptionist's ears to punish her for being a little smart arse; SOLD! To the large scaley lady at the back in the mullet and tie-dyed flares who resembles Meatloaf; Used house salesman; Vendor is pissed - in more than one way; What part of N-O don't you understand; XXX shop next door; Yank the door bell hard and it will fall off; Zoned for a (very) bad school.

And if you don't believe me: On the first day of work in '08 my colleagues welcomed me back with THIS

3 comments:

Bakin Rapscallion said...

This is why I've applied for a New Zealand work visa.

Your colleagues have quality taste--not many would spring for the "red" label.

A female Meatloaf--that's frightening. Return bat to hell immediately.

Does any actual work get done? Or do you leave it all for the bulldog?

WaWa said...

No work gets done (by neither ppl nor animals) - all reliant on foreign labour.

Bakin Rapscallion said...

How resourceful.