Bring Me Berlin

If Amsterdam is the hippy little sister that teaches pilates by day and sells make-up in department stores by night, and Copenhagen is the preppy big brother that goes to Harvard and rides his Vespa to canoe polo on Saturdays, then Berlin must be the schzisophrephic fucked up half brother born to dad´s first girlfriend whom you´ll always find on the corner of the street high on acid and writing poetry with gastly spray paint.

Therefore he is likely the most interesting family member you´ll meet at the dinner party but the least you´d want to end up in bed with at the end of the night. But then again...


Deutchland Nehmen Eins
Germany and I didnt get to a particularly good start. I travelled through Hamberg from Copenhagen and didnt end up staying for very long because the rain seemed to be following me around. In the rain Hamberg was a total mess. The locals looked far less attractive than the Danes Ive just left behind and there seems to be quite a number of Chavs here as well. Being completely soaked on the train from Hamberg, I was having a rather good nap. Some ticket-frauline with a massive batton stuck through her belt poked me with her hand held ticket machine and yells `Oiii, Oiii, farhkart farhkart!!`, it was quite a shock really to be in pain and having this massive woman stare down at me. The scene where Indiana Jones chucking the Nazi Officer out of the zeppelin for not having a ticket from Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade flashes before my eyes and I think enough revenge is done on humiliating the German population so I gave her the ticket and roll back to sleep.

Nudeln Im Kreusberg
My first two nights in Berlin was spent in a huge brick former nunery building now called The Three Little Pigs hostel. It was a fantastic location pretty much down the road from town and Check Point Charlie, the infamous American occupied checkpoint where numerous attempts at the Wall succeeded and failed over the years. Being next to ALDI, Germany´s answer to Pak n Save and CocaCola is pretty groovy. The soy milk did taste slightly like soap though, but for 35cents euro i would drink soap.

Speaking of which, Berlin is a fabulously cheap place for a foodie like myself. You can get a wurst (sausie) for about 80 cents euro, a HUGE plate of chinese noodles for 2.50E, kebabs for 2Es, sushi for 4Es, 700ml beer for 1E and pretty much anything under the sun for half the price compared to, say, London.

I completely pig out on Vietnamese in Kreusberg. The restaurant was full so they stash me on a table with a same-sex couple from Kiel near Hamberg. They have stereotypical lesbian professions, ie. Geisha is a police woman and Kristina is a nurse (well, according to her, its Doktors Helfer)... They were very good natured and gave me heaps of tips on what to do and see etc in Berlin, and a list of music I should check out, as well as some interesting perspectives on German perspectives on life. eg. Dont talk to Turkish men and dont eat weisswurst in Munich, and all about Knut the bear. I in turn give them hot tips on NZ, like, ´Go to Paekakariki´. They gave me a challenge I couldnt refuse: FIND MARLENE DIETRICH´S GRAVE. Fabulous. Cant wait.

I had to do some admin (running around Embassies trying to organise my visas to India and Bangladesh) its a bit of a nightmare, but its been fun poking around some of the places I probably wouldn't have visited otherwise. This is a picture of a huge lush, green and tranquil park in the West of the town centre near Tiergarten. Would you believe that to my right its one of the busiest traffic streets in Berlin, and to my left there is a nudist colony? Guess its quite a big drive to the beach from here...

Arbeit Macht Frei
I visited the former site of the Sachsenhaussen Concentation Camp, about 40 minutes ride from Berlin in Oranienburg. The town itself has not really fully recovered from the years under GDR (East German Gov) and looks quite shabby and eery as you walk through. The camp was built by the Nazis in 1933 as one of the first concentration camps to house their opponents, on political, social and racial grounds. It was treated as a ´model´concentration camp where other new camps would model on its design and concept. The infamous words ´Arbeit Macht Frei´ (Work Makes You Free´ is written on the front gate, and the same words were copied at the gate at the camp Auchwitz a few years later. It is really the most ironic expression I´ve ever com across, because the biggest cause of death of prisoners at this camp was from over working (ie. mostly manufacturing of ammunitions and other weapons). 150,000 people died here altogether, many of them were Jews, but because this is the camp closest to Berlin, and the fact that after about 1942 most Jewish victims were sent to outer camps, many of the Sachsenhaussen victims were high profile political prisoners and POWs, as well as gypsies and gays. After WWII the camp was seized by the Russians and they in turn used it to house their own political prisoners. Ironically the former Nazis were imprisoned there and tortoured the same way, and a further 60,000 people were imprisoned under the Russians. What do I say to this? Án eye for an eye makes the whole world blind´

Walking through the barricks where people were torchered, humiliated and murdered is quite a heavy experience, and it brings back memories of visiting PolPots torcher chamber in Phenom Penh. As a Gen Y in an over informed and desensitised world, you´d think that I would expect to see a gas chamber and a laboratory testing on children in a concentration camp something quite normal and matter-of-fact. But it isn´t. When you walk in the the smell of burnt bodies and the methylated spirits they used come flushing up into your head, even if its not there you completely feel it and you understand human suffering without actually having to suffer it yourself.

The former site of the camp serves as a permanent reminder to future generations of the things that can go very very wrong. Its a compulsory fieldtrip for Berlin school children. Many places I go around Berlin seems to serve this purpose and the locals keep reminding themselves of their dark past. I admire them for that. Confronting the past even if its hard is the best way to heal and move on, and perhaps to prevent from hurting in the future. I learned that.

Der Fluß und die Mauer
On my third day I move to the MOST AMAZING budget accommodation one could get in Berlin. Its on a barge boat anchored on the River Spree between the Oberbaum Bridge and The East Side Gallery, a huge chunk of the Berlin Wall which has not been removed. Graffiti artists take the liberty of updating the coat regularly and its a showcase of the best of Berlin´s street art culture thats been fostered by the existence of the wall, before and after it was taken down. That section of the river acted as the boarder between the East and the West during the Cold War, and the Oberbaum bridge was a checkpoint itself. The towers you see today was actually in ruins and was not rebuilt till after reunification. Now a U-Bahn runs accross it connecting two very punk, artistic and young neighbourhoods on Wachuser Straße and Schleisische Straße that has fantastic food, loads of fun graffiti and hip art galleries.


Captain Edgar is the man behind the empire. He was originally an architect and its his third boathouse and apart from an array of international guests the boat´s main cabin is a floating bar that plays live music every night of the week. Heaps of locals come along for the atmosphere and the views, not just to pick up Swedish backpackers. The boat cat Minka is a total sweety and just loves attention. In the winter when the river freezes over she likes to run across the ice, but there has been once during spring that she has fallen in!! ops. My dorm mate Kristina is actually German for once, and has just got a job with MTV across the road. She´s found Marlene Dietrich´s grave on the German Wikipedia, so looks like I´m gonna have to head out!!

Ich gefunden Marlene!!

yep. On my last afternoon in Berlin the mission is completed. Marlene's grave was situated in the leafy and plush suburb of Schoneburg, near where she was born in. I am not too sure about who owns the graveyard, but the oldest graves were dated in the 1850s. There was a plot for a few deceased from WWI, and also a plot for a number of deceased (including those marked as 'unknown') from around April 1945 when Berlin was taken over by the Allies. It was actually quite fascinating just studying the graveyard itself.

For a great woman, Marlene herself had a small and inconspicuous grave, with the simple words "Here I Stand At The Mark of My Days" on the grave stone. She was the first woman to wear pants on the silver screen and she has kicked more arses than John Howard has licked. She has had a pretty fantastic career and life, including being an outspoken antiNazi activists while living in America during the war. You can read about why she is a feminist icon here. It is true that none of us take anything with us at the end of the day, so why make it a big deal? Hats off to Marlene and for being so gracious in life and in death.

My Berlin Recomms

• Sandeman's Free Tour of Berlin (go on the bike tour, just hope it doesn't rain)
• For Cuba Street, Brunswick Street, and Sesame Street fans go to Kastanienallee in Preuyleuer (young local designers boutiques, great coffee, record shops, organic food, bright colours and hot construction workers)
• For goths and punks go to Warchauser Strase and Schleische Strase, then head to East Side Gallery and a drink at Captain Edgar's bar.
• Schoneberg to check out the Graveyard and purrring BMWs
• Tacheles, the Art part featuring all sorts of fun random sculptures/installations for the forefront of Berlin's alternative art scene, next to some studios. Off Oranienburger strase
• Eat some KurryWurst > ie some normal german brotworst but chopped up and sprinkled with curry powder and deadly german tomatoe sauce. Apparently German POWs tried to recreate American spare ribs when they got home... and got this!!